holepunching is vulnerable to packet loss

[flub]

Our holepunching very carefully coordinates sending pings and punching. However it is also somewhat conservative in sending call-me-maybe messages and only tries to do this every 5s. This makes it easily prone to slow holepunching when there is even a single packet loss, as retries are only done every 5s which is extremely slow.

However doing it more often is extremely spammy because we do not validate anything. Perhaps more closely following the ICE algorithm can address the spammyness problem and ice-over-quic can address the reliability (and well - has the ice bit).

Question is whether we want to spend any time on this outside of holepunching-over-quic or not. In any case we need to make sure this is improved in holepunching-over-quic